The first thing you need to decide on is a date for your wedding. Everything else you’re trying to plan hinges on this decision. Couples who are getting married three miles down the road can hum and haw over dates to their heart’s content, but plane tickets are expensive, and they need to be booked as early as possible. If you’re flying back to Ireland from Australia, Canada, the USA or even further to get married, flight prices mean last minute isn’t an option.
Whilst the bulk of organising your wedding will be handled in your new overseas home, try and come back to Ireland at least a week before your actual wedding date. It gives you time to deal with any last minute disasters, and get a dry run done of your hair and makeup into the bargain. After all your hard work organising from abroad, once your plane lands in Ireland you want life to be as stress-free as possible.
It’s likely that you’ve taken the sensible course of action, and your wedding is over a year away. It probably isn’t a good idea to send out your invitations just yet – unfortunately, your wedding isn’t as important to your cousin Gerry as it is to you, and he will definitely forget to RSVP – but spare a thought for your fellow ex pats. A quick save the date email this far in advance can do wonders for your guest list. It gives your friends who’ve also moved away time to save up enough to come and share your Irish big day with you. A good way to save money on postage is to send your invitations back to Ireland ahead of you, in a big box addressed to the most responsible person you know.
Whilst for some brides finding a wedding dress abroad before they come back to the UK or Ireland is a no-go (there aren’t many traditional Western dress shops dotted around the UAE), for most brides, gown shopping in their current country of residence is the safest option. Whilst it’s possible that you can get your gown once you’ve flown home to Ireland, trying to get all those fittings slotted into a few days is stress you don’t need. Many airlines have wardrobes in first class – even if you can’t, chances are an understanding steward will let your dress make the journey back to Ireland in the lap of luxury.
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Organise, Utilise, Then Organise Some More
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One of the easiest things to overlook when you’re organising a wedding in Ireland from abroad is actually getting married. Paperwork needs to be a priority, even if it is boring compared to those fancy table settings. You can start the process through the post, but the UK and Ireland both require prior warning of a wedding. Don’t worry, we’ve sorted that for you too:
In Ireland, you need to give a notice of marriage at least 3 months in advance, and attend an interview in person at least 5 days before the wedding. You’ll need to provide the registrar with your passports, birth certificates, and PSS numbers. They’ll give you a marriage registration form that has to be handed in a month before the wedding.
For the UK and Northern Ireland, you only need to give at least 8 weeks’ notice, along with your passports and long birth certificates. You may have to be interviewed, but not everyone gets called in. 2 weeks prior to your wedding you’ll get a marriage schedule (this has to be collected by either the bride or groom) which needs to go to the priest 3 days before your wedding, be signed at the wedding, and returned within 3 days of the big event. Yikes!
If you’re having a church ceremony, there’s even more to organise. Both Protestant and Catholic churches require your christening and confirmation certificates 6 months before the big day, along with a letter of freedom if necessary. Don’t forget the infamous Catholic wedding courses – contact the priest of the parish you’re marrying in: he’ll probably let you complete it abroad.
Factoring in the time difference is a huge factor when it comes to organisation. Chances are it’s at least five hours, which all but kills the possibility of any sort of verbal contact except on your days off. Stick to companies who are willing and able to communicate with you to the required level through email. Its cheaper, and it’s more reliable than trying to pull off repeated long distance phone calls.
A common approach taken by many couples is to fly back to Ireland for a week or so a few months before the wedding and block book everything: venue, band, photographers, right down to the place settings. Not everyone has the luxury of flying home however, and even if you do, booking your entire wedding in the space of a week is just flirting with disaster. Wedding decisions made on the hop are often blaringly obvious by the time the ceremony and reception roll around.
Utilise the internet when it comes to planning. There are thousands of apps and websites floating around out there, and a lot of them can be invaluable when you’re planning a wedding in Ireland from abroad. Use an online whiteboard tool to keep everything organised, and download a messaging program that means you can be contacted on the move.
Use these apps in conjunction with your ground recruits – that is, the friends and family back home you’ve roped into doing the jobs you can’t. Get them to inundate you with pictures. Cakes, settings, flowers, everything. When it comes to picking dresses for your bridesmaids back home, send them into town with a set budget, some ideas, and a strong internet connection. They can send you photos of themselves in the dresses they like for your approval.
It’s often hard to pick a hotel when you’re not there to see it in person – there’s no way they’re all as nice as they look in the photos. Once again, there’s a solution: due to the sheer volume of couples who are returning to Ireland from overseas to get married, many hotels are now offering services specifically tailored to this kind of client. Some offer dedicated concierge services, as well as a chance to have a live video call tour of the venue.
Of course, when you have everything else sorted and booked, you can start to focus on what’s really important: your entertainment for the evening
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Taking the Pressures Out of Entertaining
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Booking a wedding band is normally pretty straightforward: there’s a showcase, or you’ve seen them at another wedding, and you’ve liked them enough to have them play at your own wedding. However, when you’re planning your wedding in Ireland from abroad, chances are that isn’t going to be the case. Unless you’re lucky enough to be able to afford the flight home to see some bands play, it’s likely that your wedding may be the first time you’ve heard your band live, though if you do come home a week early you’ll have a chance to at least meet them first.
There are ways to get over this speed bump, however:
Send your family and friends in Ireland to hear them play live. When you enquire about bands they tend to send you a list of their upcoming live shows. A night of live music with a few drinks is a sacrifice your loved ones will most likely be willing to make.
It’s possible to gatecrash a wedding the band is playing at, though it’s only decent to get the bride and groom’s permission beforehand. This is useful because it allows whoever you’ve sent to see the band in a wedding atmosphere.
But there are some dangers when it comes to this system of finding a band: some bands play with different line ups depending on where they are in the country or what kind of event it is. The band that has come so highly recommended by family attending a show could be completely different from the band that shows up at your wedding. Another issue is that no matter how much the person you sent loved the band, that doesn’t mean you’ll love them quite so much. Sure, your Auntie Jean had a lovely night at the showcase and would wholeheartedly recommend them – but this is the same Auntie Jean who still listens to Dickie Rock.
Try to stick to wedding bands that have audio and video recordings of themselves playing live on their websites. Studio music is great and if a band has paid for studio time it proves that they’re both dedicated enough to want to record their music professionally, and talented enough to be able to afford to do it, but if you’re not going to have a chance to back up these recordings with a live experience of the band, it can be risky.
Research, research, research! Every band whose website you visit is trying to sell themselves to you. If you’ve already been searching you might have noticed that literally every band in Ireland is the most booked in Ireland, as well as being the number one party band. Something doesn’t add up. Search for mentions of the band on message board websites, and try and find a few couples who have previously booked them to get a real idea of what they’re like.
Price isn’t necessarily an indicator of quality. Whilst it’s fair to say that a DJ charging forty quid for the night isn’t going to be up to much scratch, some of the more famous wedding bands who are working independently of any agencies will put their prices through the roof. Experience tends to be a better litmus test than price when it comes to wedding bands in The UK and Ireland.
When you’re booking an Irish wedding band from abroad, your safest bet is definitely to book through a professional entertainment agency. Agencies can hold the band accountable for their actions, and it adds an extra layer of protection from a band dropping out on you. Established agencies won’t work with flaky bands, and if worst comes to worst and a band drops out or isn’t available, using an agency means you won’t have to spend another month searching for a new band. They’ll know exactly what it is you’re looking for, and they’ll be more than happy to provide suggestions for you from their other bands. Even if you’d rather look for a new band yourself, any self respecting entertainment agency will have their wedding bands listed online with all the information you need.
It’s not just about the band, however. Most bands play for about two hours, three at the most. Your reception is going to last a lot longer than that – after all, this will be the first time you’ve seen some of these people in years, and it’s at one of the happiest occasions you’ll experience! A wedding DJ is a great option for after a band, and they tend to come in at a really reasonable price. You also, of course, have the option of an all-night DJ. Some wedding bands offer packages that are inclusive of a DJ, and some don’t. Regardless of whether your wedding DJ shows up with your wedding band, make sure they both set up together to stop any awkward silences.
Don’t be afraid of booking extra entertainment for your wedding. Bands are a huge part of a wedding, but they’re not the only factor in a great night. It may seem like a hassle, but if you’re booking through an entertainment company then they’re going to be able to advise you on all the acts they have available. A good entertainment company will know exactly what you’re looking for, and be able to recommend you extras that realistically fit your budget and style.
Booking all your acts through the one company also cuts down on the amount of paperwork and communication you’ll have to work through – something which, when you’re organising a wedding from overseas is a godsend. A lot of people are using quirky acts like magicians to keep their guests entertained during photos, or hiring photo booths to entertain guests at the reception. Don’t just sort the big ticket items and forget about the little details – they’re what will make journeying the whole way to Ireland worth all the stress.
That being said – be careful not to get too hung up on all the brilliant ideas splashed all over the internet. Handmade invites are cool... If you’re crafty enough to make them, and dressing your family dog up as a ring bearer will definitely end in disaster. Stay practical.
So all in all, yes, planning your wedding in the UK or Ireland from abroad is going to be rough going at times – but so is planning a wedding next door to your house. If you step back, take your time, leave yourself enough space for disaster, and follow our advice it’ll take a huge weight off your shoulders. It’s easy to get so caught up in the stresses and strains of planning a wedding that you forget that it’s supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life.
Nothing is ever as catastrophic as it’s going to feel during this stage of planning and chances are, it’ll all come together on the big day. Wedding venues and entertainment agencies exist solely to help you get exactly what you’re asking for, so don’t be afraid of enlisting their help. You survived moving your whole life to the other side of the world. Trust us: you can survive planning your wedding in Ireland from overseas too.
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